Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…..but she belonged to someone else. One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you….but the girl said no. Johnny said I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money …
March 2006 archive
Texas Drinking Rules
A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, “In Mexico our glass is so cheap we don’t need to drink from the same glass twice.” An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into …
An Indian With One Testicle
There once was a Red Indian whose given name was “Onestone”. So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, “If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!” The word got …
More Rejected Titles for Brokeback Mountain
OklahomoHigh NoonerThe Magifient Seven InchesJeremiah’s JohnsonPolesmokeButch Assidy and the Bundance KidHow the West Was HungThe Legend of the Long RangerDoc’s Holiday With Billy the KidVery Raw HideLonesome DougA Fistful of NedHi, Plains Drifter!Quickly Down UnderBareback MountingBone-nanzaDon’t Mess With Tex’assHome on the RangerRooster CockburnPrances with WolvesBaloney Pony RodeoTubesteak Cowboys
Chinaman’s Hat – Oahu, Hawaii
Today I was driving around the island and I decided to stop and take another photo of Chinaman’s hat from the viewpoint of Oahu, Hawaii. Here is the picture from that.
Short Harley Davidson Jokes
Have you heard about the new Harley-Davidson beer? You put it in your fridge and it leaks overnight. Harley-Davidson: The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise without the adverse side effect of horsepower. Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets? Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her …
Rejected Titles for Brokeback Mountain
10. Bone-anza 9. Way Out West Hollywood 8. Young Buns II: Blaze of Glory Holes 7. Prances With Wolves 6. Westward Homo 5. Bi Noon 4. Male Rider / Tail Rider / Pole Rider (tie) 3. McCabe & Mr. Miller 2. Rawhides 1. Blazing Saddles ‘, ‘Next ten: 10. “Not-That-There”s-Anything-Wrong-With-That Mountain” 9. “How The West …
What begins with “F” and ends with “K”
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what”s your problem?” Harry answered, “I”m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I”m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!” Ms Brooks had …
G.W. Bush Intelligence
After numerous rounds of “We don”t know if Osama is still alive,” Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so …
Good Enough?
At the movie theater a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was frigging herself furiously. He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. She agreed, and the man started fingering her like crazy. When he …
New Postage Stamp
The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special …
Old Cow
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road in New York State one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t – the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain …