Do you know who makes the rules? As sportsmen, it is absolutely imperative that in all of the sports we engage, we, without hesitation, play by the rules … We take care to understand the rules, we discuss the rules amongst ourselves, and we study the rules … As golfers, we are ruled by the …
A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room. As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar: Cold Beer: $2.00 Hamburger: $2.25 Cheeseburger: $2.50 Chicken Sandwich: $3.50 Hand Job: $50.00 Checking his wallet to be sure …
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. (Now over 60.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’ He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink …
The madam opened the red light district brothel door in youngstown ohio and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked.. “I want to see sandy,” the man replied.. “Sir, sandy is one of our most expensive ladies of the nite. Perhaps …
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes. 3. You have more wives than teeth. 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean.” 5. You think vests …
Two men were talking. ‘So, how’s your sex life?’ ‘Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.’ ‘Social Security sex?’ ‘Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!’
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, ‘I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.’ ‘My dear, the shrink said, ‘that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.’ ‘The problem is,’ she complained, ‘it wakes me …
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, ‘How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?’ She glanced at him casually and replied, ‘You’re not home!’
A man was in a terrible accident, and his “manhood” was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for small, $6,500 for …
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary The husband yells, ‘When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: ‘Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever’.’ ‘Yeah,’ she replies, ‘when you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband – Stiff …
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, ‘How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?’ She glanced at him casually and replied, ‘You’re not home!’
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, “This will make you happy tonight.” He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn’t get back in.
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment Killing him instantly. Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked …
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Nowhere, Tennessee . He decides to prove this to himself and …
Her Diary Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation …
Happy 2010! With every new year there are things we reflect upon and things we look forward to. In 2009 we have tried to post a lot more content to the website as time permitted, to include adding many more jokes. For 2010 we will continue to try to add more content, as well as …
