Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.’ Mujibar said, ‘I am ready.’ The manager said, ‘Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green.’ Mujibar said, ‘The telephone goes …
This is a very nice souvenir photograph of 24 newly wedded couples in Enfield , near London…I just hope, for their sake, that each husband goes home with the right tablecloth!
How to correctly hold on in a moving train. No, No…………………………. the old guy by the door!
Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue. Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic. We all remember when KFC offered a “Hillary” meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs. Now KFC is offering the “Obama Cabinet Bucket.” It consists of nothing, but left wings …
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.’ Passenger: ‘Who?’ Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened …
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little Blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered …
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams …
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something …
There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play Golf. One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the …
NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah. If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave, and John will each throw in $20, even …
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.The garage is all yours.Wedding plans take care of themselves.Chocolate is just another snack…You can be President.You can never be pregnant.You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.You can wear NO shirt to a water park.Car mechanics tell you the truth.The …
Any questions?
In 2012 both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day. This is an ironic juxtaposition of events. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication. The other involves a groundhog.
First came the commemorative coins, then the T-shirts, and then the plates! Now, something for the rest of us…Use sparingly…I find that it irritates my ass!
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.” I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor – she only had …
This is a deceptively simple philosophy that I have been working on and refining for most of my life. I am delighted to say that I believe I have refined it down to its essence – sufficiently to share it with a select band of friends that may appreciate its elegance and simplicity.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance…The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s there.’
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice. ‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’ ‘Better …
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. ‘I’m O. K. but I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,’ he answered. ‘What did he say,’ asked the nurse. ‘Oops!’
Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’ Joe: ‘Really?’ Moe: ‘Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. ‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective. ‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied. ‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’ ‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?’ The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’ ‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: 1. The DNA all matches. 2. There are no dental records.
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.’ The old man says without hesitation, …
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, ‘I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’ ‘Me neither, doc,’ said the husband. ‘But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.’
‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’the divorce Court Judge said, ‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.’ ‘That’s very fair, your honor,’ the husband said. ‘And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.’
A little boy went up to his father and asked: ‘Dad, where did my intelligence come from?’ The father replied. ‘Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, ’cause I still have mine.’
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, ‘I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?’ Larry replied, ‘I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?’
