SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
“We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.”
A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:
” Blind man driving.”
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”
At an Optometrist’s Office :
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, You’ve come to the right place.”
On a Plumber’s truck :
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber’s truck :
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
“Invite us to your next blow out.”
On an Electrician’s truck :
“Let us remove your shorts.”
In a Non-smoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
On a Maternity Room door :
“Push. Push. Push.”
At a Car Dealership :
“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room :
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you would pay your bill.
You will be delighted if you don’t.”
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait…”
At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank Heaven for little grills.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises.”