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More Rejected Titles for Brokeback Mountain
OklahomoHigh NoonerThe Magifient Seven InchesJeremiah’s JohnsonPolesmokeButch Assidy and the Bundance KidHow the West Was HungThe Legend of the Long RangerDoc’s Holiday With Billy the KidVery Raw HideLonesome DougA Fistful of NedHi, Plains Drifter!Quickly Down UnderBareback MountingBone-nanzaDon’t Mess With Tex’assHome on the RangerRooster CockburnPrances with WolvesBaloney Pony RodeoTubesteak Cowboys
Chinaman’s Hat – Oahu, Hawaii
Today I was driving around the island and I decided to stop and take another photo of Chinaman’s hat from the viewpoint of Oahu, Hawaii. Here is the picture from that.
Short Harley Davidson Jokes
Have you heard about the new Harley-Davidson beer? You put it in your fridge and it leaks overnight. Harley-Davidson: The most efficient way to convert gasoline into noise without the adverse side effect of horsepower. Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets? Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her …
Rejected Titles for Brokeback Mountain
10. Bone-anza 9. Way Out West Hollywood 8. Young Buns II: Blaze of Glory Holes 7. Prances With Wolves 6. Westward Homo 5. Bi Noon 4. Male Rider / Tail Rider / Pole Rider (tie) 3. McCabe & Mr. Miller 2. Rawhides 1. Blazing Saddles ‘, ‘Next ten: 10. “Not-That-There”s-Anything-Wrong-With-That Mountain” 9. “How The West …
What begins with “F” and ends with “K”
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what”s your problem?” Harry answered, “I”m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I”m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!” Ms Brooks had …
G.W. Bush Intelligence
After numerous rounds of “We don”t know if Osama is still alive,” Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so …
Good Enough?
At the movie theater a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was frigging herself furiously. He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. She agreed, and the man started fingering her like crazy. When he …
New Postage Stamp
The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements as the First Lady of our nation. In daily use it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special …
Old Cow
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road in New York State one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t – the aged bovine was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain …
Brokeback Mountain?
A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor’s office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says, “I am not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.” The cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and asks, “Doc, what can I do?” The doctor replies, …
4th Graders
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up — fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth. Little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a …
Dead Mule in the Churchyard….
A Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard He telephoned the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the Pastor to the Health Department. They explained, “Since there was no health threat, you”ll need to call the …
Never Lie to Momma
Mrs. Gonzalez comes to visit her son Jose for dinner. Jose lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, Mama can’t help but notice how pretty Jose’s roommate is. She had long been suspicious of the relationship between the two, and this made her more curious. Over the course of the …
Safari Speedup
Did you know that in OS X if you want Safari to load faster, there are a couple tricks you can do in order for Safari to speed up? The first thing you should do is empty your cache. You can do this by going to your preferences, choose Safari and then click on empty …
Admiral Introductions
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight. After they’re airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, “Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons.” After a few minutes the man in the …
Crusty Old Naval Chief
“Well,” snarled the tough old Navy chief to the bewildered seaman, “I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and “P” on my grave.” “Not me, Chief!” the seaman replied. “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand …
Air Force Members Getting Shaved
An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The general shouted, “Hey, don’t put that stuff on me! My wife will think I’ve been in a whorehouse!” …
Filing Taxes
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says: “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc, and then asks, “What is your occupation?” “I’m a whore,” she says. The accountant balks …
New prescription?
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila. Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help …
Holy Bathroom Light
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” George replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he”s fixed it so when …
Two Fleas
Two fleas had an arrangement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation. Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he”s shivering and shaking. The other flea asks him, “Why are you shaking so badly?” The first flea says, “I rode down here from New Jersey in the mustache of a guy on …
500 dollars
A woman was walking down the street when she was approached by a man. The man said, “I want to have sex with you right now! I’ll drop 500 dollars on the ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you to pick it up I will screw you from behind and …
Plastic Garbage Bags
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her….”Ma’am, there are $20 bills …
Rectum Stretcher
While she was “flying” down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, “What’s your hurry?”To which …
8 Ways to Determine A Gay Guy
1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A …
Kids Say the Darndest Things
Jack (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?” Melanie (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, …
Yearly visit to the Doctor
I went into my proctologist’s office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave …
The Marine
A Marine was attending a college course between missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. The professor, an avowed atheist, shocked the class one day when he walked in, looked toward the ceiling, and said loudly, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” …
Happy New Year!
We here at The Kumachan would like to wish each and every one of you a Happy New Year! We hope this upcoming year will bring you many fortunes and new endeavors. The Kumachan Staff
Chinaman’s Hat – Oahu, Hawaii
Today I drove by Chinaman’s hat on the island of Oahu, Hawaii. If you ever get a chance to check it out, this place is beautiful.
Christmas Stamps
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps? ” The clerk says, “What denomination? ” The blonde says, “Heaven help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.”