Author's posts
Circumcised?
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him …
Air Traffic Humor
Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!” Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!” 2.) One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back …
Homeowners in Hawaii Need to Maximize Use of Solar Energy
As many people in Hawaii know, there is an abundance of sunlight in the state. This paper is going to explain to you why homeowners in Hawaii should maximize use of solar energy. First, this article will cover some of the reasons why many homeowners currently do not utilize our largest natural energy source, followed …
The Prisoner
A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns, but all he finds is a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair. While …
Breakfast
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful … CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my Gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to …
Red Skeleton’s Tips for a Happy Marriage
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding …
Olympic Commentators, OOPS!
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.” 2. Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I …
Unlocking Career Success: The Degree Dilemma and Beyond
After high school, the majority of students have their sights set on attending college to further their education. But have you ever wondered what an associate’s degree truly offers? This question piqued my curiosity, leading me to seek insights from seasoned business professionals who had already obtained their degrees. I wanted to understand the real …
Despite the Score the Washington Redskins Beat the Dallas Cowboys
I don”t care what that final score was, the Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys. I”ll do a little recap for you. The first quarter (to set up Dallas”s first touchdown) Washington was called for a pass interference which was clearly offensive pass interference on Dallas. The Dallas receiver pushed the Washington cornerback down. That”s …
Is Reverse Racism Culturally Accepted?
The subject of the “race card” has been way over played time and time again. Its probably because everybody is sick of hearing about how 20 year old punk kids were repressed for so many years simply because they were black. As well all know, that’s bullshit! That is just an angle that people know …
Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty?
Have you ever heard somebody say, “Is your glass half full or half empty?” I was in Okinawa in 2000, when I went to Airman Leadership School. It was a management school for the United States Air Force. The school seemed like a bunch of propaganda to “re-blue” you for the Air Force. In other …
Redskins Downed by the Giants
On Sunday the Washington Redskins were defeated by the New York Giants 20 – 14. During this game Mark Brunell left the game with a pulled muscle and throwing 1 interception. Then the infamous Patrick Ramsey stepped into the game and threw 3 more interceptions. All in all the Redskins had 7 turnovers. That is …
Redskins Down the Buccaneers
The Washington Redskins downed the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 16 to 10 in season opener. During this game Clinton Portis rushed for 148 yards to include a 64 yard touchdown on his first carry. Tampa Bay scored their only touchdown off a fumble from a sloppy handoff between Mark Brunell and Clinton Portis. All in all …
Insomnia Problem Solved
I figured out how to solve the problem of not being able to sleep. I”ve learned that if I drink a glass of milk it makes me tired so I have an easier time falling asleep. That means no more sleeping pills. I guess dairy products help make you relax. Either way, problem solved.
Apple releases the G5 iMac
Apple has really done it this time by releasing the new iMac with the G5 processor. This computer packs a lot of punch all into one little sleek design. I really like this design because it saves a whole lot of space, but the shear power of this computer is mind blowing. From what I’ve …
Washington Redskins Down the Miami Dolphins
The Washington Redskins beat the Miami Dolphins 17 to 0 to put Washington 2 -1 in the preseason. During this game Mark Brunell passed completed 7 of 9 passes for 79 yards. While the Redskins running game was lead by Clinton Portis who had 37 yards and Rock Cartwright who finished with 33 yards. All …
Bear guzzles Rainier Beer and Passes Out
This is some real news here. I found this article on CNN today. They hold all rights and copyrights to the material they have written, but this story is one that you have to read. It is exactly quoted off CNN as follows: Wednesday, August 18, 2004 Posted: 9:12 PM EDT (0112 GMT) SEATTLE, Washington …
Redskins Downed by the Pathers
The Washington Redskins lost to the Carolina Panthers 23 to 20 in overtime. The Redskins started Patrick Ramsey, which I believe I said he needs to be the 3rd string quarterback as he proved once again as he only completed 4 of 11 passes for 62 yards and 1 interception. Mark Brunell took over for …
Insomniac?
What do you do when you can’t sleep? I have managed to go through a big bottle of sleeping pills that I’ve been taking for the last couple months. It seems I can’t get on a regular sleeping schedule and I usually end up staying awake all night. Then as the sun comes up I …
Updated: University of Hawaii’s Best Sport
It seems that this particular game I watched on T.V. was an old telecast from last year. Being that I come from the midwest I’m not a fan of the Western Athletic Conference WAC sports. Last year I started watching the University of Hawaii Women’s volleyball. They did pretty good last year. Tonight was the …
Unexplained Experience
This weekend I had an unexpainable experience. I went into my bathroom to wash my hands. When I turned around to wipe my hands off with a towel I noticed there were about 7 drops of blood running down the wall at about 5 foot high off the floor. I looked around to see if …
Republican / Democrat, What is the Difference?
With the voting season coming I would like to share a few thoughts with you. First off I would like to say that I don’t pressure anybody into voting. The reason behind this is because it is a right and who am I to tell you what rights you should concern as your highest priority. …
Do You Ever Feel Like a Stupid, Dummy?
Well it seems that I suck at taking tests. Today I went back for my 3rd retake of the Microsoft 70-290 exam. I was previously showing progress, but this time I was tired going into take the exam and it showed. I couldn’t think straight if my life depended on it. That’s what happens when …
Do Presidential Candidate Rallies Really Help? Use the Money More Productively.
Since this is an election year there are going to be a few stories about the upcoming election. To go along with that there is one thing that really boggles my mind. First to kind of hit on the topic, I would like to ask if you have ever been sitting at home contemplating which …
4th of July, 2004
This 4th of July I was planning on taking it easy. I was planning on washing the car, giving the dog a bath, and just relaxing. Well it seems things did not work out like that, but in a good way. This year, at about noon a phone call was received asking to come out …
Do You Ever Get the Idea People Just Like to Screw With You?
Today I had to complete my vehicle registration because I received notice of it in the mail. I could have mailed it in, however I had to update some information so submitting it by mail would not have been suffient. Upon arriving at the city hall there was a line like 3 miles long. I …
CompUSA Never Ceases to Amaze
Today I was scheduled to take the Microsoft 70-290 exam. I went over to the CompUSA testing center and went in to take the test. When I got there I found out the test proctor’s husband had a stroke and she was unable to give the test. You would think CompUSA would have planned for …
Shaping the Future for the Next Generation of Terrorists?
By what is happening in Iraq, Afghanistan, Isreal, and other countries, is this shaping the future for the next generation of terrorists? Look at this simple scenario. Lets say a kid has his father killed while fighting for what he believes is right. Now this kid grows up with a lot of rage and fury …