If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim
If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
You may be a Muslim
If you have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim
If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim
If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim
If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim
If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim
If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim
If your cousin is president of the United States .
You may be a Muslim