Memorial Day
In observance of Memorial Day 2018, I digitally modified a photo that I had taken at the Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery. The United States flag, “Old Glory,” is in color and the graves below are monochrome. I’ve given it much thought to the meaning that I was trying to obtain by this and it could symbolize the price that many have paid to uphold the ideals that we, as American’s, believe in. It could also mean that Old Glory is waving proudly over those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. Whatever meaning you find in this image, I hope it sparks a moment where you take the time to remember a friend, a soldier, a loved one, or even a complete stranger who is no longer here because they had what it took to put their life on the line and believed in making the United States of American one of the greatest countries on earth. Freedom comes with one of the heftiest price tags and we take this day to honor those who have paid dearly for the freedoms we enjoy each and every day.
Observations
- There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and dipshit’s.
- The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
- I live in my own little world, but it’s OK. Everyone knows me there.
- I don’t do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
- I don’t like political jokes. I’ve seen too many get elected.
- The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
- If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary’s……………..
- Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
- Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
- No one ever says, “It’s only a game!” when their team’s winning.
- Marriage changes passion . . . suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
- Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
- Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
- Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
- If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t need the freakin’ class!
- Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
- Wouldn’t you know it! Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why Some Men have Dogs and Not Wives
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
It Can Wait Television Advertisement by the Western Cape Government
Every single day I see people texting and driving. I really wish more people will see this advertisement that was put out by the Western Cape Government because it has a very strong message about texting and driving. It can wait.
Blonde Men
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?”
He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do…it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”
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A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND.”
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.
“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”
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A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.
“Hanging myself,” the blonde replies.
“The rope should be around your neck” says the guard.
“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”
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An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”
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A friend told the blonde man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”
The blonde man then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
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Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?”
The other says: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
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A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: “Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”
To which the blonde man replied: “Well the joke’s on all of you because I wasn’t even at home yesterday!
Going Solar
More and more businesses, organizations, schools, and people are installing solar panels and why not? Not only do the solar panels produce power by converting light into electricity, but they also provide shade and lower your bills and if there are enough of them, they can even produce a profit. With people looking for alternative energy sources, not only for their vehicles, but also for their homes solar is a great way to go. The sun provides us with enough energy to suit most of our needs.
Parachuting at Night in Kuwait
Here are some videos of parachuting jumps at night and below is a video of the McKeanna drop zone in Kuwait.
Firing the M240
Here is a video of what it is like to fire an M240 weapon. This video was taken at a range in Kuwait.
Getting into Heaven
An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven. The woman said she would try her best.
The Angel visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.
“Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to look in the freezer, my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there.”
“They don’t like that in Heaven,” said the Angel.
The woman replied: “They’re not crazy about it at Costco either!
Shooting an M4
Shooting an M4 weapon at a Kuwaiti range.
Patriot Missiles
While stationed at Ali Al Salem air base in Kuwait there were some Patriot Missiles there. Every time Saddam Hussein sent scud missiles south of the 38th parallel something would be sent up that way to take it out. Periodically I would check just to ensure they were still pointing north. If they were I felt everything was going to be A-ok.