The Italian Funeral

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The Jewish man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said… “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?”

“My wife’s.”

”What happened to her?”

“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”

He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also.”

It was a very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood. Silence passed between the two men.

The Jewish man then asked… “Can I borrow the dog?”

The Italian man replied, “Get in line.”

Bronze Bell at Japanese Shrine


While at a shrine in Enoshima, Japan I saw this big bronze bell. These bells have a nice ring to them. From what I remember about reading about them is that the people who make the bell don’t know if they have a good bell until after it is cast and they hear the ring for the first time.

The H3 Tunnels on Oahu


When driving the H3 across the island of Oahu will need to pass through the tunnels that go through the mountains. Here is the entrance to the tunnels on this elevated highway. The views are spectacular and the interesting thing is that the sun may be shining when you go into the tunnel and it may be raining on the other side so always be careful and slow down.

Golden Places and Smiling Faces


In Thailand there are gold stores all over the country much like this one. The people are real friendly and always willing to help you find what you are looking for. Thai gold is a real yellow gold that differs from other types of gold I have seen. They don’t sell you gold by the ounce they sell it by the baht. That takes a little getting used to in forms of the conversion.

Lizard in Thailand


Here’s a little lizard in Thailand. I’m not sure if it was a really big gecko or just some sort of lizard, but it wasn’t exactly what people wanted to see when they went in to use the restroom.

The 90th Academy Awards are Over


Elvis Has Left the Building at the Oscars. Let the party get started and head over to the Governor’s ball.

Hollywood Loves Trump


Hollywood will never admit it, but they love the Trump brand.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Newest Billboard About Gun Control

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Newest Billboard of Hillary Clinton


Hillary Clinton has committed many atrocities and still needs to be held accountable for her actions.

American’s Are Dreamers Too


American’s are dreamers too. Why does Hollywood and liberals put foreigners before an American?

Three Billboards Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Newest Billboard of Sexual Assault


Sexual assault and sexual harassment are serious issues that Hollywood, the Academy, and other employers should seriously be taking action to resolve. How can Hollywood be throwing political stones when their glass house is way too dirty? Harvey Weinstein is just the tip of the iceberg with people who have sexually harassed or sexually assaulted others by using their fame or position to get sexual favors. A message to all actors, actresses, Hollywood, and the Academy, “Stop pushing your political agenda when you have more serious issues to resolve!”

Jimmy Kimmel Hosts the Oscars Again


Jimmy Kimmel hosts the 90th Academy Awards…again. Let’s hope he keeps the event fun and lighthearted. Let’s also hope that he isn’t such of a liberal political tool. He was so much more funny when he was on the Man Show with Adam Carolla and much less of a political douche that he is now. Maybe if he is going to focus on serious issues and politics he can talk about Harvey Weinstein and so many other misogynistic men in the t.v. and film industry that use their position or popularity for sexual favors.

The 90th Academy Awards the 2018 Oscars


The Oscars are a prestigious awards show that is usually hosted in the Dolby Theater in Hollywood, California where awards are given to candidates who did their job well either technically, artistically, or otherwise. In recent years we have seen where the Oscars have become more politically charged to push the liberal agenda or attempt to get people talking about hot issues or against a political candidate or political party. This year one of the hottest issues is gun violence and people will wear orange pins to show support for this issue. This shouldn’t even be a topic this year because American gun rights are protected by the constitution of the United States, however what The Academy, Hollywood, actors, and actresses should be talking about are such topics as abuse of power, sexual misconduct, equal pay for women, California not being a sanctuary state, or even smaller issues like homelessness or infrastructure improvements in not only Los Angeles, but in California as whole. You would think with all the like using the publicity, fame, and billions upon billions of dollars that the movie industry brings in that Los Angeles wouldn’t look like such a run down city with major homeless issues. Hollywood should be also talking about issues like boarder security, narcotics use within their industry, and sexual abuse, rape, workplace ethics. This is an industry that takes, takes, takes, from the American people, but doesn’t want to give back to help make America great again. Until something changes within the industry it is sad to see people of fame and power covet a small pyrite statue.

Dolby Theater at the 90th Academy Awards


The Dolby Theater doesn’t look as glamorous as it has at previous Academy Awards. Are they making a statement? Has their budget been cut? Are they not as involved as they have been in the past? Perhaps they don’t want to invest as much money as they figure fewer and fewer people will be watching the Oscars because people are just not as interested in Hollywood turning everything political.

People Will Wear Almost Anything


You never know what people will wear on the red carpet. Would you take a look at the size of those earrings?

Security at the 90th Oscars


The stage is set for the 90th Oscars to begin shortly. The security has been tight this year with some enhanced security features as seen by the fake bushes, fences, and drapes to block any unauthorized personnel from being able to see the any of the activities. There is also an entire force of security personnel to protect the red carpet. Maybe Hollywood could start a security company to protect innocent children in schools like they protect their awards show. Also, looking at the new shrubbery wall enhancements made this year maybe this is what Hollywood, liberals, and the Democratic Party had in mind for Donald J. Trump’s proposed boarder wall.

Amazon Lockers


In case you didn’t know it Amazon has their lockers just outside the Dolby Theater and behind the scenes of the Oscars for people to store their things.

What it is Like to Walk the Red Carpet


Have you ever wondered what it is like to walk the red carpet? These lovely ladies got to know exactly what that feels like.

Coverage From All the Angles


Will it be funny? Will it be political? Will it be for world peace? Will it be to help some third world country? No matter what the angle it is time for Hollywood to start helping to making America Great Again!

TMZ Tours


Is there time to catch a quick tour before the Oscars start?

Where to Stand


Where am I to stand on the red carpet?

Oscar Guests Starting to Arrive


Guests are making their way in and getting photos taken on the red carpet. Everybody likes to get their photo taken with a 7 foot tall faux statue.

On the Red Carpet


The red carpet has been rolled out. The curtains have been hanged. The stage is set for the gala event to commence. Join us to for periodic updates about different events throughout the day.

El Capitan is Ready For the Red Carpet


The El Capitan Theater is ready for “On the Red Carpet” to begin in preparation for the 90th Oscars that is being hosted by Jimmy Kimmel.

Backstage Look at the Oscars


We were able to get a first hand backstage look at everything that goes into hosting the Academy Awards. It is quite remarkable to see all the people setting up the decorations, walls, lighting, sound, cameras, carpeting, and making sure that everything is in place and ready for the event to go off without a hitch. It looks like a lot of organized chaos.

Jimmy Kimmel Gets Ready to Host the Oscars


Jimmy Kimmel is getting ready and practicing for hosting the 90th Academy Awards tonight on ABC at 8 P.M. Easter/5 P.M. Pacific.

Donald J. Trump Works out a Trade Deal with Kim Jong-Un


Donald J. Trump has worked out a new trade deal with Kim Jong-Un that has many Democrats and liberals steaming mad. I wonder if this will be new topic for Hollywood to bash the President of the United States at the 90th Oscars today.

Alcohol is Your Enemy

Iraq Hut Surrounded by Mines


Don’t go walking off the beaten path. You might find more than you bargained for. In this instance here was a hut that had some mines that needed to be cleared.

Smart-ass Answers of 2017

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
‘Would you like dinner?’, the flight attendant asked John, seated in front..
‘What are my choices?’ John asked.
‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’
The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. ‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver is driving along on the freeway and notices a sign that reads: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, ‘Got stuck, huh?’
The truck driver says, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.’

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2017!
A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, ‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’
The entire class was reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, ‘Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’

A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.

Democrat Tactic