I received a sticker in the mail for Zoo Med. The funny thing is that I’ve never bought anything from these guys and I don’t ever remember requesting a sticker. If you have a pet or a reptile hopefully this can help you.
Zoo Med
Quantitative Easing Program
Still think Barrack Obama was a decent President?
Bank Calendar
You know you are getting old when your bank sends you their calendar one month at a time.
Washington D.C. Ticket Agent
Please say some stupid things and a Washington D.C. Ticket Agent shares some of the things they have heard.
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ….”
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ”Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ”
his response — click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, ‘don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!” (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see England from Canada ?”
I said, ”No.”
She said, ”But they look so close on the map.” (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’
He replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?”
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?”
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have that number on them.”
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ”I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”
11. Mary Landrieu , La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ”I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .”
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”
‘Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”
”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ”You don’t mean Buffalo , do you?”
The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”
Which is Blonde?
Click image to find the answer.
Rickshaws in Japan
In Japan you may see rickshaws pulling people around as a means of transportation. They look like a fun way to see the area.
Elephants in Thailand
You can find elephants all over in Thailand.
Thailand Tuk Tuk
In Thailand they have these three wheeled covered vehicles called “tuk tuks.” Riding in one of these vehicles can be quite an experience and give you a different perspective. Despite their small size you can fit 3 people comfortably or 8 people if you are trying to turn it into a clown car. I once made the mistake of telling the tuk tuk driver that I wanted to get somewhere fast and it was by far the ride of my life. He ran red lights, drove on the sidewalk, drove against traffic and quite honestly had me fearful for my life. Needless to say I never made that mistake again.
My Favorite Excuses
Hillary Clinton’s version of what happened in musical format.
Pabst Blue Ribbon Sign Las Vegas
While walking down the Las Vegas strip trying to navigate my way through the crowd I saw this sign that says, “Drink up, you’re half the man my mother was.” Now that is funny.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2017
Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season. Hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Trump Treasure
People are flipping out to find the original “must see” Trump Treasure. Maybe his real treasure was the tax cut plan that Donald J. Trump just signed into law. What other treasures does he have in store?
The Mirage Las Vegas
Walked down the Las Vegas strip to the Mirage hotel and casino.
Caesar’s Palace Las Vegas
Does the real Caesar live here?
Bally’s Casino Las Vegas
The last time I was in Las Vegas I went by Ballys Casino to see if I could see the Incredible Burt Wonderstone, but unfortunately he wasn’t there.
California Countryside
Some people say that California is a beautiful state. Apparently they haven’t been anywhere else. Southern California is dry desert that has been sun baked. If you think desert is beautiful, then this is the right place for you. Things don’t really start getting green until you are near San Francisco heading north. If you see green anywhere else it is because it has been watered, most likely with sewage water.
Headstand on the Beach
California is full of interesting people. Here is one instance of a person who was walking down the beach and then for no apparent reason stopped and started doing a headstand. He stayed in that position for at least 15 minutes. Then he took a paddle board out into the ocean and started doing a headstand on the paddle board. Maybe this is some new kind of fitness program.
Southern California Style
When it comes to Southern California there is a certain style about the cars most likely due to a large hispanic population. You can find anything from Chevy Imapala’s that are tricked out to cars like this Monte Carlo that has hydraulics and a pretty smooth paint job.
Women’s Empowerment
I went hiking in Los Angeles and Adidas was sponsoring a women’s empowerment event. I don’t know much about women’s empowerment, but from what I could see the majority of women were wearing yoga pants and they kept getting in lines after they made their Adidas purchase at these different stations. The different stations would have different messages and have women do different things to try to gain a different perspective on life. It kind of looked like a bunch of self esteem and make you feel good type of stuff, but more importantly it looked like a different way to sell shoes and make women feel good about themselves. I guess if that’s how you have to sell shoes, good on you for finding a different way, but I’m curious as to if they host men’s empowerment events like this. If they don’t that seems kind of sexist and that they are preying on a woman just so they can sell products.
Las Vegas Mural
While in Las Vegas, Nevada I went to check out the Pawn Stars shop and right across the street were some pretty nice murals. The paintings showed Las Vegas Route 66, The Beatles, the Sands, The Dunes and the Flamingo. I thought it looked pretty cool and since someone went through all the trouble to pain it I took a photo.
A Date Which Will Live in Infamy…
The last time I was in Washington D.C. I snapped this photo at the World War II Monument looking towards the Washington Monument to recognize the date of the attack on Pearl Harbor.
No Ducking Around
While eating this duck came up and looked like he was hoping I would feed it, but instead I just snapped a photo.
La Jolla Children’s Pool and Harbor Seals
Not far from downtown La Jolla is a children’s pool that has been permanently taken over by harbor seals. If you are ever in the area it is nice to go watch the seals and take in the coastal area. You will be able to find lots of things to see around there. Anything from watching the waves, to painters, to fisherman, surfers or hang around and watch the harbor seals.
Ocean Beach Mural
When hanging out in Ocean Beach you’ll notice different murals and graphic artists paintings. Here is one nice one that you can find painted on a wall when heading into town.