The Kumachan – Page 92 – Celebration of free speech

Irish Ghost Story

By Dave in Humor, Stories
2016-12-23

John Bradford, Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door … only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t running.The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying … and wasn’t drunk. Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other… ”Look Paddy … there’s that fooking idiot wot got in the car while we were pushing it!”

Humor, Irish Ghost Story, funny, irish, jokes, laugh

Confucius Says

By Dave in Humor, Photos
2016-12-22

Confucius Say: It’s OK to let a fool kiss you; but don’t let a kiss fool you.
Confucius Say: A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.
Confucius Say: It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.
Confucius Say: A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Confucius Say: Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, and you lose interest.
Confucius Say: Viagra is like Disneyland…A one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Confucius Say: It is much better to want the mate you do not have than to have the mate you do not want.
Confucius Say: A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.
Confucius Say:Man can’t rape woman, as woman can run faster with dress up than man with pants down.

Joke, confucius, confucius says, funny, laugh

Some Say A Lot In Their Simplicity

By Dave in Photos, Thoughts
2016-12-20

simplicity, their

Think About Life With a Higher Perspective

By Dave in Thoughts
2016-12-19

Englightenment, Higher Perspective, Thoughts, images

Christmas Decorations 2016

By Dave in Holidays, Photos
2016-12-18

I just felt like taking some photos of some Christmas decorations to catch a little Christmas spirit. Here are a few shots.

Christmas, Christmas 2016, Christmas Decorations

Five Undeniable Facts

By Dave in Humor
2016-12-18

1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.

2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks – PRICELESS.

4. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband.

5. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

I haven’t verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legal.

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Facts, undeniable

Funny Aging Comics

By Dave in Humor
2016-12-17

aging, comics, funny

Only in Israel

By Dave in Holidays, Photos, Thoughts, Travel
2016-12-15

With Hanukkah coming up I thought it would be neat to show some things that you will only see in Israel.

A perfect parking job.

More Women fly F-16’s in Israel than drive cars in Saudi Arabia.

Hasidic family crossing sign.

Soldiers who bring their kids to work.

Sudoku while swimming in the Dead Sea.

The reason 7-Elevens are never robbed in Israel.

Israel is the only country where army reservists are commanded by officers younger than their own children.

An entire country comes to a halt. On Holocaust Remembrance Day, a siren goes off at 10 AM in Israel in memory of the 6,000,000 Jews who perished in the Holocaust. As the siren wails all activity comes to a halt, including traffic on major highways.

Israel is one of the only countries where the sun sets into the Mediterranean Sea.

Kosher McDonald’s.

Atheists who believe in God.

Remarkable Diversity.

Wedding photos like this:

Your date brings her M-16.

A Hasidic family dressed like this.

Supermodels who serve in the military.

No cars on the road for an entire 24 hours (Yom Kippur).

Road signs like these.

And Spiderman.

Generations Collide.

7-Eleven, Dead Sea, Diversity, Hanukkah, Hasidic, Holocaust, Israel, Kosher, M-16, McDonald's, Models, Road Signs, Roads, Spiderman, Wedding Photos, Yom Kippur, photos, soldiers

Funny Signs

By Dave in Government, Humor
2016-12-14

A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver that read: “We will heel you. We will save your sole. We will even dye for you.”

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”;

In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”;

On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for,You’ve come to the right place.”;

On a Plumber’s truck : “We repair what your husband fixed.”;

On another Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”;

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : “Invite us to your next blowout.”;

On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”;

In a Non-smoking Area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”;

On a Maternity Room door: “Push. Push. Push.”;

At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – missa car payment.”;

Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”;

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”;

At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”;

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”;

At a Propane Filling Station: “Thank Heaven for little grills.”;

In a Chicago Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”;

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: “Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises”

Funny signs

Bob and the Blonde

By Dave in Humor
2016-12-13

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”

Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, and so I knew he would jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did too, but didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Bob took the money…

blonde

Brief California History Lesson

By Dave in Education, Humor, Photos
2016-12-11

Do you know what happened 166 years ago this summer…September 9th, 1850?

California became a state! The people had no electricity, the state had no money and almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically nothing has changed except back then the women had real tits and the men didn’t hold hands.

And that, my friends, is your history lesson for today.

California, California History, History, photo

Democrats Recounting Votes

By Dave in Government, Humor, Photos
2016-12-09

Democrats have been unhappy with the turnout of the Presidential election and have start to recount.

democrats, recounting, votes

Boar’s Head Handcrafted Sandwich

By Dave in Food, Photos
2016-12-04

I was at the supermarket and I saw a Boar’s Head turkey sandwich that looked pretty good. Now, although this sandwich did taste as good as it looked, one thing I didn’t notice until I opened it because the sandwiches were standing vertically was the huge lettering at the bottom that said, “Handcrafted.” As I was eating the sandwich I couldn’t help, but think about why they would put that on the packaging. Are other sandwiches made specifically by sandwich making machines? Is there some sort of sandwich apprenticeship that they are proudly displaying their craftsmanship? Are they trying to brag? Perhaps this is just a stupid marketing ploy to try to entice people to buy their sandwiches. Whichever it is, it is all nonsense. Just let the sandwich speak for itself. It looked good. It tasted good. Leave it alone.

Advertisement, Boar's Head, Food, Turkey, diet, marketing, sandwich

Kid Rock Understands the 2016 Election

By Dave in Government, Humor
2016-11-23

2016 Presidential Election, 2016 Presidential Race, Kid Rock, Politics, photo

Model Tatiana – Hippie Photo Shoot

By Dave in Events, Photos
2016-11-12

I went on a photo shoot with, Tatiana, one of the models from the previous Boarder X Brewery event that I took photos at. This was different as it was more in nature and more one-on-one, but I think we got some really good photos. She is a pleasure to work with and as I build my experience, my name, and my reputation, I will keep doing my best to capture her in the best light.

Nature, Photo Shoot, Photography, hippie, model

I am a Veteran

By Dave in Holidays, Thoughts
2016-11-11

I am a veteran. I chose to serve my country, not because it was cool, but because I though it was the right thing to do. I didn’t join to try to be an sort of hero. I just wanted opportunities to travel the world, learn a decent job, and get a college degree. I was willing to make the sacrifices that many other’s weren’t. I raised my right hand and swore an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States against enemies both foreign and domestic. Although I did not retire from the military, I served honorably. I don’t ask to be recognized. I don’t ask for free stuff. I don’t need people to buy me free beer or pat me on the back. I have done what my country has asked of me and I’ve demanded nothing in return. At sporting events when they ask veteran’s to stand to be recognize, I sit quietly and look around at the real heroes. I believe the it is because of other like-minded individuals from all walks of life, different backgrounds, different cultures, different races, and even different sexual preferences, that have swore the same oath that I swore to protect and defend our beloved country is what makes our country great.

Many people don’t understand the sacrifices that veteran’s have made. They have chosen to protect the United States of America, the values that we stand for, and the ideals that we uphold. They travel to distant lands, spend time away from friends and loved ones, and missed many holidays, birthdays, births, graduations, and other important events. Many service members do not get the opportunity to become a veteran as many never make it home.

When veteran’s day comes around I don’t ask for a day off work. I don’t post my photo to get recognition or praise. I just want to shake the hand or acknowledge others who were willing to do the same thing I did. These are the people I like to know. These are the truly great people who make this country what it is. These are the people that are always welcome and have a friend with me. Here’s to you. Cheers.

Military Veteran, United States of America, Veteran's Day

Happy Veteran’s Day 2016

By Dave in Holidays, Photos
2016-11-11

Veterans,
The sacrifices you have made are what help forge the United States into one of the greatest countries in the world. Thank you for your service.

Holiday, Military Veteran, United States, Veteran's Day

45th President of the United States: Donald J. Trump

By Dave in Government
2016-11-09

That was quite an election and Donald J. Trump will be the 45th President of the United States of America. I didn’t see that coming and it was a surprise to see that he pulled out a win. It definitely shows that American’s don’t agree with Barrack Obama and want to turn the country away from the direction he was taking the country. One major thing that I was surprised about was the lack of voter turnout. When I look through the numbers of every state it appears that on average only somewhere between 40-50% of people actually voted. That’s almost 60% of the country who didn’t vote. That’s a very big surprise for me. It was also surprising to see the republican’s held the house and senate and now the presidency too. That’s an all republican controlled government. Let’s see if they can get things passed and if congress will get back to work, as opposed to, the gridlock they maintained while Obama was president. I look forward to seeing the change, I look forward to seeing what changes will be made, and I look forward to seeing how great American will become.

Donald Trump, Politics, United States, United States of America

Southern Cops Have a Way With Words

By Dave in Events, Humor, Thoughts
2016-11-06

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

And the winner is…

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

southern, words

Happy Halloween 2016

By Dave in Holidays, Photos, Travel
2016-10-31

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy Halloween! Here are some Halloween images of a sand art sculptures in Imperial Beach, California.

California, Halloween, Holiday, Imperial Beach, San Diego, Sand Art, Sand Sculptures, photos

Sights Around the Imperial Beach Pier

By Dave in Events, Photos, Travel
2016-10-30

Took a walk on the Imperial Beach pier and took some photos of different things around the area. Here are those photos:

California, Imperial Beach, Imperial Beach Pier, Pacific Ocean, San Diego, photos

Comic Book Street Names

By Dave in Events, Photos, Thoughts, Travel
2016-10-06

Today I was driving down the street and I turned on the corner of Gotham and Xavier and thought to myself, obviously the people responsible for naming those streets are fans of comic books.

Comic Book, Gotham, NAMES, Xavier, comic, street

Demonstration of Love

By Dave in Humor
2016-09-15

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?

“Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband – “I love you, Sweetheart”

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?

1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s wrong?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What the hell did you do now?
7. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
8. Am I dreaming?
9. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
10. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.
11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?

Demonstration of Love, Humor, Seminar, daily funny, laugh, love, women

Donkey

By Dave in Government, Humor
2016-09-14

The king wanted to go fishing. He called on the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.

So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area”.

The king was polite and considerate, he replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”

So the king continued on his way. However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.

The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.” So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions. The practice is unbroken to this day and the Democrat symbol was born.

donkey

Historical Old Photos in Color

By Dave in Education, Events, Photos
2016-09-12

Henry Ford, 1919

Cornell Rowing Team 1914

Brothers Robert Kennedy, Edward ‘Ted’ Kennedy and John F. Kennedy outside the Oval Office.

Sophia Loren and Jayne Mansfield

Two Boxers after a fight

Brooklyn Bridge in 1904

Louis Armstrong plays to his wife, Lucille, in Cairo, Egypt 1961

An Oklahoman farmer during the great dust bowl in 1939

Boys buying flowers in 1908

Red Hawk of the Oglala Tribe on horseback 1905

WWII soldiers on Easter

Union Soldiers taking a break 1863

Madison Square Park New York City around 1900

Burger Flipper 1938

Helen Keller meeting comedian Charlie Chaplin in 1918

Lee Harvey Oswald, 1963, being transported to questioning before his murder trial for the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Times Square 1947

Lou Gehrig, July 4, 1939. Photo taken right after his famous retirement speech. He would pass away just two years later from ALS.

Girls delivering ice, 1918

Louis Armstrong practicing backstage in 1946

American Poet Walt Whitman, 1868

Baltimore Slums, 1938

View from the Capitol in Nashville, 1864

Clint Eastwood working on his 1958 Jag XK 120 in 1960

Babe Ruth’s 1920 MLB debut

An RAF pilot getting a haircut while reading a book between missions

Joan Crawford on the set of Letty Lynton, 1932

Marilyn Monroe

1920s Australian mugshots from the New South Wales Police Dept.

W.H. Murphy testing the bulletproof vest in 1923

Unemployed Lumber Worker and His Wife 1939

Country store in July 1939 Gordonton, North Carolina

Winston Churchill, 1941

Samurai Training 1860

Albert Einstein on a Long Island beach in 1939

British Soldiers Returning from the front in 1939

Hindenburg Blimp crash

Clint Eastwood, 1962

Charles Darwin

Big Jay McNeely, Olympic Auditorium, 1953

Alfred Hitchcock

Elizabeth Taylor in 1956

Pablo Picasso

Brigadier General and actor Jimmy Stewart. Stewart flew 20 combat missions over Nazi-occupied Europe, and even flew one mission during Vietnam.

Albert Einstein, 1921

A car crash in Washington D.C. around 1921

Claude Monet in 1923

Charlie Chaplin at 27 years old in 1916

Mark Twain in 1900

Audrey Hepburn

Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels scowls at a Jewish photographer, 1933

Washington, D. C. filling station in 1924

President Lincoln with Major General McClernand and Allan Pinkerton at Antietam in 1862

Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Alfred Hitchcock, Allan Pinkerton, Audrey Hepburn, Babe Ruth, Brooklyn Bridge, Charles Darwin, Charlie Chaplin, Claude Monet, Clint Eastwood, Dust Bowl, Edward 'Ted' Kennedy, Elizabeth Taylor, Helen Keller, Henry Ford, Hindenburg, History, Jay McNeely, Jayne Mansfield, Jimmy Stewart, Joan Crawford, John F. Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald, Lou Gehrig, Louis Armstrong, Major General McClernand, Marilyn Monroe, Mark Twain, Marylin Monroe, Oglala Tribe, Pablo Picasso, Robert Kennedy, Samurai, Sophia Loren, Times Square, Walt Whitman, Washington D.C., Winston Churchill, famous people

Bikes, Babes, and Beer…Oh My!

By Dave in Automobiles, Events, Photos
2016-09-07

Went to an event at Boarder X Brewery in San Diego, California that had bikes, models, and it was at a brewery so it had beer. Talk about an excellent combination. Here was one one the models that was posing in front of the vehicles.

Body Art, Body Paint, California, Harley-Davidson, Impala, Photo Shoot, San Diego, West Coast Cars, babes, bikes, model

How is Your Day Going?

By Dave in Humor
2016-09-06

Now that I think about it, my day is going pretty good.

Cheer, Humor, funny, jokes, laugh

San Diego Airport

By Dave in Photos, Travel
2016-09-05

Here are some things I saw while at the San Diego airport. One was a group of people that were all white and the title of it is, “At the Gate.” The other photo was of the Spirit of Saint Louis airplane.

California, San Diego, Spirit of Saint Louis, Statue, Travel, airport

Kansas City Southern Train

By Dave in Photos, Thoughts
2016-09-02

I was in traffic, looked over, saw this train, and snapped a quick photo of it. It made me wonder, was it this train that got somebody out of this town? Did this train bring somebody into this town? Was this train the one where people dreams began or was it the one where they ended? Whichever it was, this vessel was the backbone that carried those aspirations and burdens. It must be quite the vessel.

Kansas, southern, train

Funny Killer Robots Comic for Geeks

By Dave in Humor, Photos
2016-08-31

Geeks, Humor, Killer Robots, Programming, image, jokes

West Coast Cars

By Dave in Automobiles, Events, Photos
2016-08-27

Went to an event tonight were there were some tricked out West Coast cars with hydraulics, low riders, and some motorcycles. It was my first time ever seeing anything like this so I tried to capture the cars in the best light. Here are some of my photos from the event.