Tag: funny

Hospital Regulations

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.  However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.  After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me …

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What’s the Name of That Restaurant

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.’ The other man said, ‘What …

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Palm Sunday

Third Worm on Noah’s Ark

Where to Keep Holy Things

Moses’ Mother

Kiss Cam Winning Kiss

How I lost My Teeth

Boyfriend’s Wife Hates Me

Better Than No Job T-shirt

Deep Thoughts

Funny Marketing Signs

Sign in a shoe repair store: “We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.” A sign on a blinds and curtain truck: “Blind man driving.” Sign over a gynecologist’s office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.” In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.” At an Optometrist’s Office: “If …

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Look at Your Kids and Think

Bring an Umbrella

Some Days I Amaze Myself

Can’t You Ever Relax?

Forgetful Folks Support Group

Pet on a Leash

Discovered eBay

Blanket Hog

Organized Crime

Ever Wonder Where the Dollars Have Been?

South Texas Humor

Late Night Thoughts

Sometimes it Pays to Tell the Truth

Jack decided to go ski-ing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could stay the night. “I realize …

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Smart-ass Answers of 2017

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’, the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she …

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New Store

Two businessmen in a new shopping mall were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop… As yet, the shop wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up.  One said to the other, “I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what …

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Humorous Taxi Driver Conversations

Name Not Instruction

Jewish Cab Driver

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat.​ ​The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with …

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Catholic Morning Coffee

Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call …

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