Tag: jokes
Bookseller Market Survey
Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”
Breast Height Check
Getting older stinks and so do these measurements.
Smart-ass Answers of 2017
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’, the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.. ‘What are my choices?’ John asked. ‘Yes or no,’ she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she …
True Courage
Is it fighting a bull without a weapon? Is it flying a fighter in combat? Is it free fall parachuting? Is it bungee jumping? Is it white water rafting? Ah – But aare nothing! This, my friend, is true courage: (It’s also the last photo I have of my dog.)
How is Your Day Going?
Now that I think about it, my day is going pretty good.
Golf Club Locker Room
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello” WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes.” WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and …
Republican Truck
I stopped by the Ford Dealership in Temecula yesterday, for a look at the new F-150 aluminum pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck “feel” before they become old. The salesperson, a very nice looking black lady, wearing a “Hillary for President” lapel …
Hillary Clinton – Hillary-ous
I was a shopping mall today and I saw this hat. Everything about this woman from her joke of a marriage, to her corruption, to her political aspirations. Everything about Hillary is a complete and utter joke. This hat sums all that up.
The Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde …
Sleeping With Mick
The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decid ed it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning …