Tag: pain
Did You Know?
1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you. Wear nice shoes. 2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die within the next 3 years. 3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you. There’s a 9% …
A Positive Attitude
He finally awoke from his coma, stiff as a board and in pain in the hospital’s ICU, with tubes up his nose & down his throat, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. It was obvious he’d been in a serious accident. She gave him a deep and steady heartfelt look …
Testicle Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman …
Late Night Call to the Vet
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and “in heat,” agreed to look after her neighbors male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, …
Just Stay
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. …
Costume Party
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good …
Media at its Best
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his …
Tattooist Takes Fan’s Request Literally
A supporter of Australian Football team Geelong Cats wanting a permanent reminder of the team’s AFL triumph has been left by a tattoo saying his team were “Gay Premiers 2007”. In a celebratory trip to Thailand last week “Neville”, a dyed-in-the-wool Cats fan, had 15 cans of beer to ease the pain of the 5-¬¨Œ© …
Those Crazy Bikers
A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage …
Eve’s Side of the Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God. It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. …
Spandex – A Privledge Not a Right!
I was in K-Mart the other day and I saw this fat lady in the store wearing some short shirt that did not cover her fat belly and spandex shorts. First off I would like to say anytime a woman’s belly is bigger than her breasts, that is not a good thing. Second of all …