I finally graduated college with a Bachelor’s Degree of Science in Software Engineering. It seems as though I was on the 10-year plan to obtain a 4-year degree. I swear the only people who go to school longer than me are doctors. Regardless, I switched between 4 different schools and changed degrees just as many …
Tag: people
Job Question
The boss was looking to hire a new manager, so he interviewed dozens and narrowed their search down to three people. In an attempt to pick one of them, he decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours and the one with the best answer would get the job. The …
Urine Test
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do …
Moved To Alaska
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months …
Minorities – Show Some Compassion
They travel miles in the heat. They risk their lives crossing a border. They don’t get paid enough wages. They do jobs that others won’t do or are afraid to do. They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language. They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day …
Jeff Foxworthy Picking on Michigan
1. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan. 2. If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest …
The Last Word
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight starving, dirty, smelled terrible, hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn’t know what to call her so we named her “Pussycat.” …
How To Get Kicked Out of The Air Force 101
Who says AF people aren’t a little wild… When it gets hot outside on the flight line, people get a little crazy!! A few days ago somebody found a pic of a KC-135 guy marshaling a jet in his underwear. The next day Airman Jerknuts of our grand 34th AMU decided to out do the …
Warning: Idiots in the Area
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”From Kingman, KS. I was at the …
The Gay Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the …
New Pharmacology
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After …
Great One-Liners
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he wasGod and I didn’t! 2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!4. Some people are alive only because it”s illegal to kill them.5. I used to have a handle …
A Boy, A Man & A Donkey
An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the boy was riding. The man & boy thought maybe the critics …
The $1000 Bet
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the …
Polynesian Cultural Center
Drove over to the north shore on Oahu, Hawaii today and went to the polynesian cultural center located in Laie. This place is a fun place to learn about Polynesia and learn about what makes up Polynesia and where the people originally came from and what is unique about each culture and what makes them …
Guns Don’t Kill People, Doctors Do
Think about this: Doctors:(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (C) Accidental deaths per physician are 0.171.Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services Now think about this: Guns:(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that”s …
University of Southern California football vs the University of Hawaii
Saturday was the football game where the number 1 University of Southern California played the University of Hawaii. It was well known that the game was not going to be close and that was predicted by a 35 point spread for those gambling people. USC had most of their returning players, while the UH football …
Halie’wa Hawaii
Drove up to the North Shore on Oahu, Hawaii today. Stopped by Halie’wa and took some photos of people paddling. Here are those photos.
Classic Schwartzkopf Quote
In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwartzkopf. The General said, I believe that forgiving them is God’s function. Our job is to arrange …
Male or Female?
You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For example: 1.) Ziploc Bags — They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2.) Copiers — They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It”s an effective reproductive …
Stupid Statistics
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that”s more like it!) …
Configure Your Apple Computer to Connect to Your Wireless Linksys Router
If you have an Apple computer using an airport extreme card and want to connect it to your wireless Linksys router using WEP, you”ll be surprised that it is not as difficult as you may think. Initially when I was trying to get my iMac connected to my wireless Linksys router I was running into …
Homeowners in Hawaii Need to Maximize Use of Solar Energy
As many people in Hawaii know, there is an abundance of sunlight in the state. This paper is going to explain to you why homeowners in Hawaii should maximize use of solar energy. First, this article will cover some of the reasons why many homeowners currently do not utilize our largest natural energy source, followed …
Is Reverse Racism Culturally Accepted?
The subject of the “race card” has been way over played time and time again. Its probably because everybody is sick of hearing about how 20 year old punk kids were repressed for so many years simply because they were black. As well all know, that’s bullshit! That is just an angle that people know …
Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty?
Have you ever heard somebody say, “Is your glass half full or half empty?” I was in Okinawa in 2000, when I went to Airman Leadership School. It was a management school for the United States Air Force. The school seemed like a bunch of propaganda to “re-blue” you for the Air Force. In other …
Unexplained Experience
This weekend I had an unexpainable experience. I went into my bathroom to wash my hands. When I turned around to wipe my hands off with a towel I noticed there were about 7 drops of blood running down the wall at about 5 foot high off the floor. I looked around to see if …
Republican / Democrat, What is the Difference?
With the voting season coming I would like to share a few thoughts with you. First off I would like to say that I don’t pressure anybody into voting. The reason behind this is because it is a right and who am I to tell you what rights you should concern as your highest priority. …
Do Presidential Candidate Rallies Really Help? Use the Money More Productively.
Since this is an election year there are going to be a few stories about the upcoming election. To go along with that there is one thing that really boggles my mind. First to kind of hit on the topic, I would like to ask if you have ever been sitting at home contemplating which …