Tag: response
Little Larry the Fighter Pilot
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Larry says: “I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, …
Glorious Insults From Famous People
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, …
The Way Women Think
Husband’s Text Message to wife Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays. Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound …
Trip Away
The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”…. Apparently “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.
Little Johnny Doesn’t Need Anything
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home. 1st kid says “A computer”. Teacher replies “That’d be very useful.” 2nd kid says “a new lawn mower” and gets a similar response. Little Johnny pops up and says ” At my house we don’t need nothin.” The …
American History
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodiaki a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: ‘Patrick Henry, 1775’he said. ‘Very good!’ Who said, ‘Government of the People, by …
The Fastest Thing
Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the …
Never Assume That Men Understand
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there …
Computer Literate Executives and Information Systems
[Abstract] The purpose of this document is to provide an argument to the question, “As more computer- and information system-literate employees move into executive positions, will executive support systems be needed? Why or why not?” The second part of this document answers the questions, “What special knowledge, other than that found in a course catalog, …
Words Women Use:
1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game …
Wyoming Cowboy
A WYOMING cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban Sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly …
Dead Mule in the Churchyard….
A Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard He telephoned the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the Pastor to the Health Department. They explained, “Since there was no health threat, you”ll need to call the …
Never Lie to Momma
Mrs. Gonzalez comes to visit her son Jose for dinner. Jose lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, Mama can’t help but notice how pretty Jose’s roommate is. She had long been suspicious of the relationship between the two, and this made her more curious. Over the course of the …
Napkins for a special occasion
My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping ”napkins” in the bathroom. Didn”t they belong in …