Twas the night before Christmas–Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead of “Thanks Santa”–what do I hear?The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.The …
Tag: want
Your Age by Chocolate Math
Your age by chocolate math’, ‘Work this out as you read …Be sure you don”t read the bottom until you”ve worked it out!This is not one of those waste of time things, it”s fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate(more than once but …
Navy Ship Pearl Harbor
Today I was driving across the bridge coming from Ford Island to Halawa and snapped a couple photos of a ship sitting in Pearl Harbor. I don’t know anything about Navy ships, but it looks pretty cool. I know I wouldn’t want to mess with the United States Navy.
Atlantis Submarine Tour – Honolulu Hawaii
Today I took the Atlantis Submarine tour out of the Hawaiian Hilton Hotel. This tour was superb. First you leave from Waikiki and they take you out on a boat to rendezvous with a submarine that is waiting. You want to be sure to get there early and try to take the earliest tour if …
IRS Genie
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He”s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden; he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls …
Government Job
A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Have you been in the service?” “Yes,” he says. “I was in Vietnam for three years”. The interviewer says, “That will give you extra points toward employment” and then asks, “Are you disabled in any way?” The guy …
President Bush’s Inaugural Speech Summary
This document will cover the key points of the 2005 presidential inaugural speech that was given by George W. Bush in January 2005. Within the Presidential speech you may or may not have heard key points that were a bit confusing. This document will try to mitigate any confusion by spelling it out in plain …
When I Was a Kid
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year ”round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they …
Rejection Line
In case you meet anybody who you don”t want to give your telephone number to, but you do anyway because you feel bad – try this instead: Rejection line: If you are a woman/man and are constantly approached by unattractive or undesirable women/men asking for your phone number, give them this number: Boston: 617-658-7083 New …
Stupid Statistics
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that”s more like it!) …
Don’t Close the Blinds
The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that …
Home Wireless Network Users Need to Properly Secure Their Networks From Threats
In recent years, technology has been rapidly developing. This development introduced us to the Internet, commercial networks, and even home networks to move towards using wireless networks. In America, home networks are the vast majority of users on the Internet. Since home networks are the majority of users on the Internet, you will learn about …
Configure Your Apple Computer to Connect to Your Wireless Linksys Router
If you have an Apple computer using an airport extreme card and want to connect it to your wireless Linksys router using WEP, you”ll be surprised that it is not as difficult as you may think. Initially when I was trying to get my iMac connected to my wireless Linksys router I was running into …
Homeowners in Hawaii Need to Maximize Use of Solar Energy
As many people in Hawaii know, there is an abundance of sunlight in the state. This paper is going to explain to you why homeowners in Hawaii should maximize use of solar energy. First, this article will cover some of the reasons why many homeowners currently do not utilize our largest natural energy source, followed …
Is Reverse Racism Culturally Accepted?
The subject of the “race card” has been way over played time and time again. Its probably because everybody is sick of hearing about how 20 year old punk kids were repressed for so many years simply because they were black. As well all know, that’s bullshit! That is just an angle that people know …
Redskins Downed by the Giants
On Sunday the Washington Redskins were defeated by the New York Giants 20 – 14. During this game Mark Brunell left the game with a pulled muscle and throwing 1 interception. Then the infamous Patrick Ramsey stepped into the game and threw 3 more interceptions. All in all the Redskins had 7 turnovers. That is …
Unexplained Experience
This weekend I had an unexpainable experience. I went into my bathroom to wash my hands. When I turned around to wipe my hands off with a towel I noticed there were about 7 drops of blood running down the wall at about 5 foot high off the floor. I looked around to see if …
Do Presidential Candidate Rallies Really Help? Use the Money More Productively.
Since this is an election year there are going to be a few stories about the upcoming election. To go along with that there is one thing that really boggles my mind. First to kind of hit on the topic, I would like to ask if you have ever been sitting at home contemplating which …
Grey Area With Copyright Infringement
I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I don’t want to run into trouble. Lets say I create an image for a kid that looks like Nemo from Walt Disney’s movie “Finding Nemo” and somebody else sees this image and says I stole it from Disney. Is that considered copyright infringement? Especially since no …
High School Reunion
I recently received an e-mail from a girl I knew in high school. She was trying to get updated contact information and trying to find out if I’ll come to my high school reunion. It was neat to see some of the names listed on the contact list. She also sent out this e-mail saying, …
Failure at Everything
I was listening to a radio station today and they were talking about a guy who jumped over Niagra Falls without a barrel or without anything. The guy ended up living, so this was a botched suicide attempt. Now think about this, this guy failed at life so bad that he felt it was better …
Janet Jackson is Welcomed on My T.V.
I’m still been hearing complaints of Janet Jackson revealing her breast on TV. during the super bowl halftime show. I’m sick of hearing complaining about this. There are too many shows on the air right now that show gays kissing, holding hands, and adopting children and nobody seems to complain about that, but as soon …
Achieving Your Dreams
Reaching the stars may not be as hard as you think. I managed to reach my stars and it wasn’t even by the path I planned it to be. The main thing you always have to be in order to reach your goals is to remain focused. Without focus your goal will not be as …
Company Functions Are Not Too Exciting
Last Thursday April 29th, 2004 our office had an outing because different people from the company came to Hawaii for business. Although this was not mandatory it was highly encouraged to attend. I figured that meant you don’t have to go, but we”ll all be pissed off at you later. Since I don’t have a …
A Difference Between Working Overseas and Working in America
After living overseas for some years it is a shock to see how different people act in America. For example: Americans working overseas, at the end of the day overseas people would usually hang out with the people they worked with. It made an easy atmosphere for resolving work issues. Here in America once the …
A Little Piece of Loneliness
When you go to another place or country to visit or even live for a while, the people and culture immediately begin to grow on you. Your heart begins to open regardless of the language or cultural barrier. You begin to go out and absorb as much as you can. Even though you may not …
Issues With Dell
On March 5th, 2004 I decided I had been waiting around long enough to get a new computer. The predicament I kept running into though was that every time I tried customizing a computer on Dell’s website the price would jump up drastically. So I decided to call their phone support to help me with …
Which is Worse, Sitting at Home Alone or Hanging Out With Lamers?
Last night I was bored so I decided to walk over to a friend’s house nearby. While there some other people showed up. Then they start prank calling people who they had in their cell phone address book. I felt like I was back in middle school again so I decided to go back home …