Tag: women
Nine Words Women Use
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. This means your facts may be right but you are still wrong. 2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if …
Sydney University Beer Study
Last month, Sydney University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer and put out the following warning: “Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and by drinking enough beer, men …
It Only Takes 3.25 Inches to Please a Woman
Here is the proof.
Women’s Empowerment
I went hiking in Los Angeles and Adidas was sponsoring a women’s empowerment event. I don’t know much about women’s empowerment, but from what I could see the majority of women were wearing yoga pants and they kept getting in lines after they made their Adidas purchase at these different stations. The different stations would …
Demonstration of Love
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him? “Some women answered …
The Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde …
The Way Women Think
Husband’s Text Message to wife Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays. Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound …
Golf Lessons
A foursome of guys are waiting at the men’s tee while a foursome of women are hitting from the ladies’ tee. The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another …
Women Golf Pro Advantage
Who says women pro golfers are at a disadvantage to men? Michelle Wie – pro golfer. Matching lavender outfit worth $2000. New pair of French sunglasses worth $500. NIKE products Endorsements worth $10,000,000. That handy gadget to hold your putter …. Priceless!!!
What’s With All The Feathers?
A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses. “Feathers show number of sexual partners,” the chief replied. Indicating a nearby young brave, he continued, “Him? One woman, one feather. Him?” pointing to a second, older man, “Three women, three feathers.” The reporter looked …
Walking on the Grass
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or …
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female…… Any part under a car’s hood. Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male….. Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male… Leaving …
Curliest Hair
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question, which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer…hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?
Buying a Bike
Advice for women buying a bicycle…When purchasing a bicycle…no matter how cute you are. Be sure to consider the color of the seat!
Male Logic
A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.” A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?” He replied, “They had avocados.” …
Cowboy Tombstone
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah . He died not knowing that he would win the “Coolest Headstone” contest. FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: 1. It’s important to have a …